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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Life is a highway and there are potholes: FROG Jam? Really?

Life is a highway and there are potholes: FROG Jam? Really?: So I was in the mountains of North Carolina over the weekend, around the Canton/Waynesville area to visit Chris' family for Christmas fo...

FROG Jam? Really?

So I was in the mountains of North Carolina over the weekend, around the Canton/Waynesville area to visit Chris' family for Christmas for the day.

If you've ever been deep into the NC mountains before, you know that there are some crazy things to be seen there, especially on those remote roads in the middle of the sticks.  You've got your rusty tractors, your stores that have tree carvings of 7 foot bears, or Indians, or any other large animal you can think of, and then there are the tiny rickety stands selling various mountain sundries.

You can't go further than a mile without seeing a stand for boiled peanuts, I don't know why there are boiled peanuts there - it's only in the mountains that you can get them, it's just a thing.  Go with it will ya.  Also, any fruit you can think of is made into a butter spread - apple butter (which I love), pumpkin butter, fig butter, butter, butter, butter.  They are everywhere. 

Now, let's get to the interesting part of this story.  There are also jams at all of these stands, and you see some weird shit, but I actually saw a sign for Frog Jam.  We passed this sign driving home, and I was like, "WTF?"  Frog jam?  Really?  Of course, my mind starts whirling about in its insane way, "How would you make jam out of frogs?"  "Or is it just jam that looks like ground up frog guts?"  I just could not figure this whole Frog Jam thing out at all.  I had all these gross ideas, delightful disgusting sick things swimming around in my head as to what Frog Jam could be! 

Then Chris said, "Let's Google it!"  Well, Google ruined EVERYTHING!  Thanks a lot Google.  Turns out the "Frog" in Frog Jam is an acronym for Figs, Raspberries, Oranges, and Ginger.  Sooo, it's a completely innocuous fruity jam with a deceptively gross name.  I was so disappointed.  Here I was, in my own sick world of frog blenders, and he ruined it.  Then he found TOE Jam:  Tangerines, Oranges, and Elderberry juice.  My world fell even lower.  Does this mean all of the gross signs we see in the mountains for weird shit are also totally innocuous things?  Oh please don't let it be so!!!  That's part of what makes it so fun up there!!!! 

Well, you know what?  I'm keeping my sick mind just the way it is!  I like being just a bit twisted!
What would you have thought had you seen a sign for Frog Jam???