Monday, January 28, 2013

Monday Listicles with NW Mommy

Today I decided to hook up with Northwest Mommy and her weekly Monday Listicles! This week's list is on 10 THINGS YOU THOUGHT AS A CHILD YOU WOULD DO or BE. Wow, I had a pretty big imagination as a child and I read adventure books A LOT as a very shy and introverted child (grew out of that now didn't I?) LOL! I wanted very much to crawl into the adventures of many of the books I was reading and live out those characters lives, but here is my master list of who I wanted to be when I grew up:

10. WONDER WOMAN - Okay, I grew up in the 70's and I had Wonder Woman Underoos, and totally idolized Linda Carter. What girl didn't want to be Wonder Woman for God's sake?

9. Barbie - Yes I had a townhouse (with an elevator thank you very much!). Who didn't want to be Barbie? Oh, except when my brother took my dolls and threw them over the railing onto the garage floor and made their limbs all pop off. Poor poor abused Barbie....forshadowing for my life perhaps?

8. A famous singer! I had some piano talent, but when I discovered my singing voice I was like, "YEAH!" Totally wanted to be Debbie Gibson or Tiffany (this was the 80's people...perspective please). Madonna was a little scary, so I stayed with the cleancut singers.

7. A contemporary christian singer/songwriter. I changed gears a little when I started singing with my church group and I did start writing music. I fancied myself the next Amy Grant at the time.

6. Okay, reality had to step in a little bit, so I decided I might want to teach, perhaps music or history. This was dashed after I worked at an afterschool program with some behaviorally challenged kids. I decided children were the devil at that point of my life, and teaching was OUT.

5. Nurse - I started in nursing school, truly felt this was a passion for me. I was already working as a nursing assistant with the elderly and had a love for it. Unfortunately, the program was way too much for me and I had to withdraw.

4. Possible Psychologist, or researcher in psychology. Nixed that, was tired of college and to do anything with a psychology degree required at least 2 more years...I didn't have 2 more years in me.

3. A wonderful wife and mother, with a decent job. Doesn't exactly work when your husband is a drug addict, divorced him. I did love being a stepmother, I loved my daughter very much and I think I was a great mother to her. Only chance I have had in my life to be a mother.

2. A wonderful wife and mother, with a decent job, part 2. I have a great job that I do love most days as an account manager/customer service rep. The mother thing never happened, pretty much due to the same reasons as #3 and other issues in our marriage. This bit the dust as well.

1. Dammit, I am not giving up! I don't care if I get married again, or have children...I'm at the age where that might not happen, but to find the RIGHT man and have a great partnership with someone, along with a great job is really all I want out of life. This is a work in progress, I will have to keep you posted but I want to be happy being me and happy with someone who loves me FOR ME.

Well, you got sort of a mini biography out of my list, you know me guys....I lay it all out on the table. For better or for worse, it is what it is! Hope you enjoyed my list, link up and write your own! I'd love to read it!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

New Year's Reflections

Yeah, I know I'm a litle late on my New Year's post, but as you guys learned in the first post I ever wrote on my tiny little blog....I am a Master Procrastinator! I did get my Christmas tree and decorations taken down last weekend, can you believe that??? Last year it was what....March before I took it all down? I call that improvement people....give me some love y'all!

Anyhoo, I wanted to share my thoughts about the happenings in my life in 2012 and what my hopes and dreams are for 2013. 2012 started out a complete suckfest for me, I'll just be honest. If you'll recall (if not, I probably wrote about it so see my past posts), I was in the hospital for a pretty serious illness for a week in December 2011, was let out on the 17th. Christmas kinda sucked for me, I was still feeling like crap, on antibiotics that made me sick as a freakin dog and pain meds for terrible pain I was still in.

January was spent at home....almost the whole freakin month on medical leave. I couldn't go back around people until I was healed up enough not to get any additional infection so I got cabin fever so bad! Terrible depression ensued and my stupid husband was no freakin help. More on him later. Got back to work finally only to find out that there were going to be massive layoffs throughout the year. Great. A group would go each quarter, the majority in September and guess who was to go in September? You betcha! So that was fun news. More on this later too.

The spring and summer go by pretty uneventfully, work and home...spent lots of time with friends. Home life is not happy, although I didn't really realize it at the time. August I start sending out resumes like gangbusters, and get no response whatsoever. Nada, bupkis, nothing. There was just nothing there.

September rolls around, I know that my job ends on the 28th. I have no prospects, although I was getting a severance and payment on at least 2 weeks worth of unused vacay. Still, the stress was major for me. Then, husband dropped a bomb....he's leaving. I was shocked, upset by it. Learned there was someone else he wanted to go see (aka, sleep with) and he wanted a legal separation as soon as possible. So we got separated and he moved out. I stayed in the house, which I am thankful for. About mid-month, I am asked by my manager to stay at work through November, or even longer...of course I stayed!

October, Karen turned 40! I did not spend my birthday alone either. I have the most amazeball group of friends who came to a great birthday dinner for me, bringing flowers, cards, and small tokens of their love for me. My house was full of flowers and their love for a couple of weeks after and I can never repay them for that feeling. I really love my friends so much.

Early November rolls around and my manager calls me in again and tells me they are no longer going to be letting me go, I get to stay on permanently! I almost did a little dance there in her office! I start to realize that I am truly starting to feel happy with my life, without husband in it. I feel okay about moving on. We had a good relationship for awhile, but the last 2 or 3 years we were little more than roommates, hardly even friends and he used to be my best friend. I opened myself up to going out with my friends instead of staying home alone. I started realizing the holidays were coming up and know that they will be hard, but my family is so supportive I know I'll be fine.

December rolls around, I know Christmas is right around the corner, and I stay very busy this month! It seems I'm going to Christmas parties and out with friends, and spending time with my family that I have no time to be sad about anything! Christmas was amazing, spending time with my parents, brother, and grandpa was just a great gift. I love them all so much, and they love me so unconditionally it's amazing!

2013...okay I am superstitious, so I don't like the number 13 at all, so I'm calling this year 20newlife. I feel like this year is a time for a fresh start, new beginnings and new experiences. I continue to work hard at my job and try to do better at it every day. I am doing some small things in my house to make it mine, one of the spare bedrooms that is now cleaned out of husband's stash and hoardings of computer crap is now going to be my exercise room with my WII, and also a meditation room. It has a bed, so it will also serve as a guest room. The other spare bedroom, I don't know what I'm doing there, but that is ok! I'm planning to spend more time with my friends this year, having some girl time is always fun. Lastly, God willing I would like to start dating and if it is in His will, find love again one day. We will have to see how that goes and let things happen naturally. Well, that's it kids. Hope you enjoyed my little trip down memory lane. What do you hope for in 2013?