Songbird silenced

I have been pondering for the last day and a half how to write about the death of Whitney Houston.  I wasn't sure how to approach the subject at first.  I could write the addiction blog - some of you know I have first-hand experience with both drug addiction and alcoholism, having an ex-husband who was an addict and having worked on a behavioral health ward in a hospital with addicts and alcoholics coming in and out regularly.  I'm not going to do that, however.  Maybe another installment, I'll come back to this topic but for now I really want to honor Whitney Houston.

To be honest, I haven't thought about her much lately.  Her "so called comeback" flopped, I figured that she was back with her family and had no idea if she was sober or not.  The shocking news of her death however, has gotten me thinking back to when I first heard her music.

I was 13 years old, and the year was 1985.  Her first album, "Whitney Houston" was one of the first I ever bought and it was a cassette tape.  When I heard it, her voice blew me away.  I immediately began singing along with the tape, her voice was truly different and beautiful.  I slowly discovered that I wasn't a bad singer!  I decided to join the chorus at school, and the teacher thought I was actually good!  It was at that point that I knew that I had something that I loved to do and that I wanted to get better at it.  I played that tape and sang along to it over and over again. 

It was at that age that I fell in love for the first time, and found my very first boyfriend.  He was a couple of years older than I was but the songs on that album about love said exactly what I felt for this boy and inspired my love for music even more.  Songs like "Saving all My Love for You," "Nobody Loves Me Like You Do," and "You Give Good Love" all said everything for me. 

When he broke my heart, it was my first heartbreak, and of course I thought the world was going to end.  The song "All At Once" said everything I felt and I played that song over and over and over again until I thought the tape would wear out! 

"All at once, I finally took a moment and I'm realizing that you're not coming back.  And it finally hit me all at once.  All at once, I started counting teardrops and at least a million fell, my eyes began to swell, and all my dreams were shattered all at once....." 

So beautiful and sad all in one song.

The songs on her first album are still my favorites with a few others that she did over the years.

I didn't really realize how much she had inspired both my love of music and how it affected me emotionally, but also how she really got me singing until this past weekend and I started thinking about her death.  My love of music grew from there, and became a great way for me to express myself emotionally.

Yes she made some mistakes in her life, who hasn't?  She crossed boundaries, crossed over from R&B to mainstream pop music.  She caught a lot of flack for it at first, but she gained the respect of the world.  She's the most awarded female artist of all time, I didn't know that until I started researching for this post.  Over 400 awards!  That's remarkable!

I just want to thank you Whitney, for giving me the inspiration and the love of music I have today.  It is my outlet and my therapy and sometimes the only thing that keeps me sane.  I hope you have found peace where you are now, I will always think of you fondly.

Some of my faves:

Saving All My Love

Run to You

I Have Nothing

Didn't We Almost Have It All

I Will Always Love You

What are your favorite songs by Whitney?