Thursday, March 15, 2012

Cheesy Amusing Athletics Bloggertime

I'm hooking up with my lactose-enriched blogging friends over at Cheesy Bloggers for their topic for the week.  This time, they're looking for our gym or athletics stories - were you a star athlete or a complete entertaining failure?  Well, I decided to change back into my gym clothes from school, dig through my memories so you can find out my story.

Mine is not a story of triumphant athletics - you know, perserverance and hard work paying off in me becoming a championship star.  I was not the basketball, soccer, softball, or any kind of sports star whatsoever.  For any of you that know me in real life, I am probably the clumsiest person you will ever meet.

Part 1:
My earliest memory of any organized sport was at the age of 7 when I was made to join the community girls soccer team, the McLeansville Muppets (yes, this was in the 70's and yes we were really called the Muppets). 

My abilities included running up the field and down the field, avoiding the ball at all costs.  I got kicked in the shins enough during my first few games that I knew I did not want to participate in any action, so that was my M.O.   My teammates were none too pleased at my lack of athletic ability - some of them were totally competitive and resented my avoidance of the battle at hand, but when I did have the ball I didn't know what to do with it.  I'd kick it the wrong way by accident, or miss altogether, or kick it to the opposite team by mistake. 

This went on for 3 painful seasons - after each year of my begging them not to make me play, finally they relented and gave up on me ever becoming a soccer star.  I did get trophies every year, everyone got one for participating which made me feel a little guilty since I didn't really do anything to earn it. 

Part 2:

In Middle School began the painfully embarrassing trauma that was Physical Education. 

We giggly girls were mixed in with the boys, which made it extra super-humiliating for me due to my overwhelming lack of athletic prowess. 

Every sport that we played:  softball, basketball, racquetball, lacrosse, volleyball, it did not matter what we did - I was either hit in the face, I swung and missed the ball, fell on my ass, you name happened to me in front of boys. 

At this age you do not want to be humiliated in front of boys, so I faked my period as much as possible starting at age 12 to get out of having to dress out.  I was one menstruating, cramping machine.  I belonged in the drama department (if we had one out in the sticks) from all the over-acting I did.  Luckily, high school saved me and I was free from P.E. FOREVER!!!!!!!

Part 3:

Today, I stick with safe activities.  Walking is good, I can do walking mostly without getting hurt or falling down.  (I did say mostly didn't I?)  I do trip over my own feet at times.

My Wii Fit at home is fairly safe, although I fall off that little pedestal thingie constantly since I have no sense at all of balance. 

Yoga is good, but that balance thing comes into play again, but at least it's not a competitive thing.  I just try again and hope I get better at it.


Lady Estrogen said...

I'm jealous that you were on a team called the Muppets!

I was a jock - I would have annoyed you. lol

handflapper said...

I would have been too embarrassed to fake my period--I pretended like I never even had a period--but I faked plenty of other aches and pains, illnesses and injuries. Oddly enough, I grew up to coach all of my boys' athletic pursuits when they were growing up, baseball, basketball, soccer. . . I guess it's true: Those that can, do; those that can't, teach.