Friday, December 28, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Fibro Friday is Back! - A Letter to "Normals"
Hello to my lovely readers! I'm BAAACCCKKK!!! I thought I would start off with a Fibro Friday post that I really felt was apropos to my life right now. I wanted to share with all of you fibromites and normals alike "A Love Letter to Normals" written by Claudia Marek. The letter is reproduced from her book, "Fibromyalgia: The First Year" where the proceeds go to a fibromyalgia treatment center. I hope you enjoy the letter and perhaps learn a little something about what we with fibromyalgia and their related conditions go through every day.
Fibromyalgia isn't all in my head, and it isn't contagious. It doesn't turn into anything serious and nobody ever died from fibromyalgia (thought they might have wished they could on really awful days!!) If you want to read articles or books about fibromyalgia I can show you some that I think are good. If you just want to learn as we go along, that's fine too. This is definitely going to be a process. The first step is for you to believe that there is an illness called fibromyalgia and that I have it. This may sound simple, but when you hear about my symptoms I don't want you to think I'm making this all up as I go along.
Fibromyalgia is a high maintenance condition with lots and lots of different kinds of symptoms. There's no way to just take a pill to make it go away, even for a little while. Sometimes a certain medication can make some of my symptoms more bearable. That's about the best I can hope for. Other times I may take a lot of medication and still won't feel any better. That's just the way it goes. I can't control how often I feel good or when I'm going to feel terrible. Lots of people have been cutting new drugs advertisements out of magazines for me and I appreciate the thought, but I've seen them too. Look at the list of side effects and the few symptoms they help in return. Even in the best studies those expensive compounds didn't help over half the people who tried them. No matter how happy the people in the pictures look, there's still no miracle drug available.
There's no cure for fibromyalgia and it won't go away. If I am functioning normally, I am having a good day. This doesn't mean I'm getting better -- I suffer from chronic pain and fatigue for which there is no cure. I can have good days, several good weeks or even months. But a good morning can suddenly turn into a terrible afternoon. I get a feeling like someone has pulled out a plug and all my energy has just run out of my body. I might get more irritable before these flares, and suddenly get more sensitive to noise or just collapse from deadening fatigue. Weather changes can have a big effect on how I feel. Other times there may be no warning, I may just suddenly feel awful. I can't warn you when this is likely to happen because there isn't any way for me to know. Sometimes this is a real spoiler and I'm sorry. The sadness I feel for what my illness does to those around me is more than I can easily describe. You may remember me as a light-hearted fun loving person -- and it hurts me that I am no longer what I was.
Fibromyalgics have a different kind of pain that is hard to treat. It is not caused by inflammation like an injury. It is not a constant ache in one place like a broken bone. It moves around my body daily and hourly and changes in severity and type. Sometimes it is dull and sometimes it is cramping or prickly. Sometimes it's jabbing and excruciating. If Eskimos have a hundred words for snow, fibromyalgics should have a hundred words for pain. Sometimes I just hurt all over like I've been beaten up or run over by a truck. Sometimes I feel too tired to lift up my arm.
Besides pain, I have muscle stiffness which is worse in the morning and evenings. Sometimes when I get up out of a chair I feel like I am ninety years old. I may have to ask you to help me up. I'm creaky and I'm klutzy. I trip over things no one can see, and I bump into the person I am walking with and I drop things and spill things because my fingers are stiff and my coordination is off. I just don't seem to connect the way I should. Hand-eye, foot-eye coordination, it's all off. I walk slowly up and down stairs because I'm stiff and I'm afraid I might fall. When there's no railing to hold on to, it's terrifying.
Because I feel bad most of the time, I am always pushing myself, and sometimes I just push myself too hard. When I do this, I pay the price. Sometimes I can summon the strength to do something special but I will usually have to rest for a few days afterwards because my body can only make so much energy. I pay a big price for overdoing it, but sometimes I have to. I know it's hard for you to understand why I can do one thing and not another. It's important for you to believe me, and trust me about this. My limitations, like my pain and my other symptoms are invisible, but they are real.
Another symptom I have is problems with memory and concentration which is called fibrofog. Short-term memory is the worst! I am constantly looking for things. I have no idea where I put down my purse, and I walk into rooms and have no idea why. Casualties are my keys which are always lost, my list of errands, which I write up and leave on the counter when I go out. Even if I put notes around to remind myself of important things, I'm still liable to forget them. Don't worry, this is normal for fibromyalgics. Most of us are frightened that we are getting Alzheimer's. New kinds of brain scans have actually documented differences in our brains.
I mentioned my sensitivities earlier and I need to talk about them again. It's more like an intolerance to everything. Noise, especially certain noises like the television or shrill noises can make me jittery and anxious. Smells like fish or some chemicals, or fragrances or perfume can give me headaches and nausea. I also have a problem with heat and cold. It sounds like I'm never happy but that isn't it. These things make me physically ill. They stress me out and make my pain worse and I get exhausted. Sometimes I just need to get away from something, I just don't know how else to say it. I know sometimes this means I will have to go outside, or out to the car, or go home to sit alone and that's really all right. I don't want or need you to give up doing what's important to you. That would only make me feel worse. Sometimes when I feel lousy I just want to be by myself. When I'm like this there's nothing you can do to make me feel better, so it's just better to let me be.
I have problems sleeping. Sometimes I get really restless and wake up and can't get back to sleep. Other times I fall into bed and sleep for fourteen hours and still be tired. Some nights I'll toss and turn and not be able to sleep at all. Every little thing will keep me awake. I'm sure that's confusing to be around, and I know there are times when my tossing and turning and getting up and down to go to the bathroom disturbs you. We can talk about solutions to this.
All these symptoms and the chemical changes in my brain from pain and fatigue can make me depressed as you'd imagine. I get angry and frustrated and I have mood swings. Sometimes I know I'm being unreasonable but I can't admit it. Sometimes I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed. These emotions are all very strong and powerful. I know this is a very hard thing about being with me. Every time you put up with me when I'm in one of my moods, secretly I'm grateful. I can't always admit it at the time, but I'm admitting it now. One thing I can tell you is it won't help to tell me I'm irrational. I know I am, but I can't help it when it's happening.
I have other symptoms like irritable bowel, muscle spasms and pelvic pain that will take their toll on our intimacies. Some of these symptoms are embarrassing and hard to talk about but I promise to try. I hope that you will have the patience to see me through these things. It's very hard for me too because I love you and I want to be with you, and it makes everything worse when you are upset and tired of dealing with all my problems. I have made a promise to myself and now I am making it to you: I will set aside time for us to be close. During that time we will not talk about my illness. We both need time to get away from its demands. Though I may not always show it I love you a million times more for standing by me. Having to slow down physically and having to get rid of unnecessary stresses will make our relationship stronger.
Fibromyalgia isn't all in my head, and it isn't contagious. It doesn't turn into anything serious and nobody ever died from fibromyalgia (thought they might have wished they could on really awful days!!) If you want to read articles or books about fibromyalgia I can show you some that I think are good. If you just want to learn as we go along, that's fine too. This is definitely going to be a process. The first step is for you to believe that there is an illness called fibromyalgia and that I have it. This may sound simple, but when you hear about my symptoms I don't want you to think I'm making this all up as I go along.
Fibromyalgia is a high maintenance condition with lots and lots of different kinds of symptoms. There's no way to just take a pill to make it go away, even for a little while. Sometimes a certain medication can make some of my symptoms more bearable. That's about the best I can hope for. Other times I may take a lot of medication and still won't feel any better. That's just the way it goes. I can't control how often I feel good or when I'm going to feel terrible. Lots of people have been cutting new drugs advertisements out of magazines for me and I appreciate the thought, but I've seen them too. Look at the list of side effects and the few symptoms they help in return. Even in the best studies those expensive compounds didn't help over half the people who tried them. No matter how happy the people in the pictures look, there's still no miracle drug available.
There's no cure for fibromyalgia and it won't go away. If I am functioning normally, I am having a good day. This doesn't mean I'm getting better -- I suffer from chronic pain and fatigue for which there is no cure. I can have good days, several good weeks or even months. But a good morning can suddenly turn into a terrible afternoon. I get a feeling like someone has pulled out a plug and all my energy has just run out of my body. I might get more irritable before these flares, and suddenly get more sensitive to noise or just collapse from deadening fatigue. Weather changes can have a big effect on how I feel. Other times there may be no warning, I may just suddenly feel awful. I can't warn you when this is likely to happen because there isn't any way for me to know. Sometimes this is a real spoiler and I'm sorry. The sadness I feel for what my illness does to those around me is more than I can easily describe. You may remember me as a light-hearted fun loving person -- and it hurts me that I am no longer what I was.
Fibromyalgics have a different kind of pain that is hard to treat. It is not caused by inflammation like an injury. It is not a constant ache in one place like a broken bone. It moves around my body daily and hourly and changes in severity and type. Sometimes it is dull and sometimes it is cramping or prickly. Sometimes it's jabbing and excruciating. If Eskimos have a hundred words for snow, fibromyalgics should have a hundred words for pain. Sometimes I just hurt all over like I've been beaten up or run over by a truck. Sometimes I feel too tired to lift up my arm.
Besides pain, I have muscle stiffness which is worse in the morning and evenings. Sometimes when I get up out of a chair I feel like I am ninety years old. I may have to ask you to help me up. I'm creaky and I'm klutzy. I trip over things no one can see, and I bump into the person I am walking with and I drop things and spill things because my fingers are stiff and my coordination is off. I just don't seem to connect the way I should. Hand-eye, foot-eye coordination, it's all off. I walk slowly up and down stairs because I'm stiff and I'm afraid I might fall. When there's no railing to hold on to, it's terrifying.
Because I feel bad most of the time, I am always pushing myself, and sometimes I just push myself too hard. When I do this, I pay the price. Sometimes I can summon the strength to do something special but I will usually have to rest for a few days afterwards because my body can only make so much energy. I pay a big price for overdoing it, but sometimes I have to. I know it's hard for you to understand why I can do one thing and not another. It's important for you to believe me, and trust me about this. My limitations, like my pain and my other symptoms are invisible, but they are real.
Another symptom I have is problems with memory and concentration which is called fibrofog. Short-term memory is the worst! I am constantly looking for things. I have no idea where I put down my purse, and I walk into rooms and have no idea why. Casualties are my keys which are always lost, my list of errands, which I write up and leave on the counter when I go out. Even if I put notes around to remind myself of important things, I'm still liable to forget them. Don't worry, this is normal for fibromyalgics. Most of us are frightened that we are getting Alzheimer's. New kinds of brain scans have actually documented differences in our brains.
I mentioned my sensitivities earlier and I need to talk about them again. It's more like an intolerance to everything. Noise, especially certain noises like the television or shrill noises can make me jittery and anxious. Smells like fish or some chemicals, or fragrances or perfume can give me headaches and nausea. I also have a problem with heat and cold. It sounds like I'm never happy but that isn't it. These things make me physically ill. They stress me out and make my pain worse and I get exhausted. Sometimes I just need to get away from something, I just don't know how else to say it. I know sometimes this means I will have to go outside, or out to the car, or go home to sit alone and that's really all right. I don't want or need you to give up doing what's important to you. That would only make me feel worse. Sometimes when I feel lousy I just want to be by myself. When I'm like this there's nothing you can do to make me feel better, so it's just better to let me be.
I have problems sleeping. Sometimes I get really restless and wake up and can't get back to sleep. Other times I fall into bed and sleep for fourteen hours and still be tired. Some nights I'll toss and turn and not be able to sleep at all. Every little thing will keep me awake. I'm sure that's confusing to be around, and I know there are times when my tossing and turning and getting up and down to go to the bathroom disturbs you. We can talk about solutions to this.
All these symptoms and the chemical changes in my brain from pain and fatigue can make me depressed as you'd imagine. I get angry and frustrated and I have mood swings. Sometimes I know I'm being unreasonable but I can't admit it. Sometimes I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed. These emotions are all very strong and powerful. I know this is a very hard thing about being with me. Every time you put up with me when I'm in one of my moods, secretly I'm grateful. I can't always admit it at the time, but I'm admitting it now. One thing I can tell you is it won't help to tell me I'm irrational. I know I am, but I can't help it when it's happening.
I have other symptoms like irritable bowel, muscle spasms and pelvic pain that will take their toll on our intimacies. Some of these symptoms are embarrassing and hard to talk about but I promise to try. I hope that you will have the patience to see me through these things. It's very hard for me too because I love you and I want to be with you, and it makes everything worse when you are upset and tired of dealing with all my problems. I have made a promise to myself and now I am making it to you: I will set aside time for us to be close. During that time we will not talk about my illness. We both need time to get away from its demands. Though I may not always show it I love you a million times more for standing by me. Having to slow down physically and having to get rid of unnecessary stresses will make our relationship stronger.
Friday, October 19, 2012
When You're a Jet You're a Jet all the Way: Part 3
Well you're not going to believe this. My kitteh gang is back, and I think I am now da boss!
You sees, I gots dem kittehs workin for me guarding the house.
Since my husband and I split up I've been seeing them coming around more.
Almost every day when I come home, I see at least one if not more of them sitting on my front stoop standing guard. Then I might see another on the other side of the yard, or walking down at the edge of the street.
Today, they had it goin on. 2 posted at my front porch, one on each side, one pacing up and down the sidewalk....I guess guarding from weeds from my non-existent flower beds, and one taking the perimeter of the front yard. They have got it down to a military-like precision, I'm tellin you. When I went inside, I could almost swear I got a little kitteh military salute.
So am I a kitteh gang leader, or are they a little kitteh army? Now I'm confused because I don't know if I''m the Don or the General of this ragtag band of thieves.
Might have to give this some thought. What do you guys think?
You sees, I gots dem kittehs workin for me guarding the house.
Since my husband and I split up I've been seeing them coming around more.
Almost every day when I come home, I see at least one if not more of them sitting on my front stoop standing guard. Then I might see another on the other side of the yard, or walking down at the edge of the street.
Today, they had it goin on. 2 posted at my front porch, one on each side, one pacing up and down the sidewalk....I guess guarding from weeds from my non-existent flower beds, and one taking the perimeter of the front yard. They have got it down to a military-like precision, I'm tellin you. When I went inside, I could almost swear I got a little kitteh military salute.
So am I a kitteh gang leader, or are they a little kitteh army? Now I'm confused because I don't know if I''m the Don or the General of this ragtag band of thieves.
Might have to give this some thought. What do you guys think?
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
10 Random Thoughts on a Tuesday
I'm trying to get back in the swing of blogging again, so I'm giving a shot to Linny's Vault of 10 on Tuesday - 10 random thoughts on a Tuesday.
And away we go!
1. The new Mumford and Sons CD, Babel is freakin AWESOME!!! If you do not own it, you are insane or possibly just dumb because you hate good music. It is even better than their first album if that is even possible. GO BUY IT NOW!
2. My dog is driving me insane. Ever since my husband and I separated, she is like the neediest dog ever. I love her to pieces, but she follows me around the house like a stalker. Last week we had a thunderstorm and she went ultra-psycho (she hates storms). She is getting better as time goes on. The last week or two have been better.
3. I am SOOOOOOO grateful for the support of my friends. A couple of weeks ago I would have spent my 40th birthday alone with the dog, Ramen noodles and reality tv all in pj's. That did not happen. Instead, I had dinner with 15 friends at my favorite restaurant, several friends brought cards and gifts and flowers that I am still enjoying around my house. How can I possibly feel alone with friends like this around me?
4. How freakin excited am I that there was a Walking Dead marathon on ALL LAST WEEKEND!!!! It was a ZOMBIEPALOOZA! I loved every minute of it!
5. Speaking of zombies, how awesome is it that the Walking Dead is BACK! The premiere episode on Sunday was zombiefreakinfantastic!!!! (yes that is a real word, I just made it up!). They got back to their roots...killing zombies in ever grosser ways. There were eyeballs popping out, blood spurting all over the place, heads flying around, it was epic!
6. Almost done getting my ex moved all the way out of the house. I'll be glad to get that part out of the way, make the house MY house and not our house.
7. I have not watched any of the debates....does that make me a bad person? Hell no!
8. Damn you Linny, now I want Chik-Fil-A too. Nuggets and fries....oh and sweet tea of course!
9. Did I mention.......ZOMBIES????
10. Why are ppl so stupid? I want to tell them to go see the wizard and get themselves a brain.
And away we go!
1. The new Mumford and Sons CD, Babel is freakin AWESOME!!! If you do not own it, you are insane or possibly just dumb because you hate good music. It is even better than their first album if that is even possible. GO BUY IT NOW!
2. My dog is driving me insane. Ever since my husband and I separated, she is like the neediest dog ever. I love her to pieces, but she follows me around the house like a stalker. Last week we had a thunderstorm and she went ultra-psycho (she hates storms). She is getting better as time goes on. The last week or two have been better.
3. I am SOOOOOOO grateful for the support of my friends. A couple of weeks ago I would have spent my 40th birthday alone with the dog, Ramen noodles and reality tv all in pj's. That did not happen. Instead, I had dinner with 15 friends at my favorite restaurant, several friends brought cards and gifts and flowers that I am still enjoying around my house. How can I possibly feel alone with friends like this around me?
4. How freakin excited am I that there was a Walking Dead marathon on ALL LAST WEEKEND!!!! It was a ZOMBIEPALOOZA! I loved every minute of it!
5. Speaking of zombies, how awesome is it that the Walking Dead is BACK! The premiere episode on Sunday was zombiefreakinfantastic!!!! (yes that is a real word, I just made it up!). They got back to their roots...killing zombies in ever grosser ways. There were eyeballs popping out, blood spurting all over the place, heads flying around, it was epic!
6. Almost done getting my ex moved all the way out of the house. I'll be glad to get that part out of the way, make the house MY house and not our house.
7. I have not watched any of the debates....does that make me a bad person? Hell no!
8. Damn you Linny, now I want Chik-Fil-A too. Nuggets and fries....oh and sweet tea of course!
9. Did I mention.......ZOMBIES????
10. Why are ppl so stupid? I want to tell them to go see the wizard and get themselves a brain.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Hey, I am back! Where have I been?
I know it has been such a long time since I have posted, that you guys thought I was living under a rock or just fell off the face of the earth or something. First off, no...I'm still here. I hope to get back to writing regularly again now, but some crazy shit has gone down in my life that I've had to process and cope with, and that I'm still processing and coping with it if I'm going to be totally honest about it but I thought it was time to reach out to you guys and just let you know what's going on.
A few weeks ago my husband told me that he didn't want to be with me anymore. He wanted to separate and to move out immediately. I was in shock, I had no idea that this was coming. I tried to see if he would go to marriage counseling, but he absolutely refused. He started looking for an apartment, but had to continue living at the house for 2 weeks before he could move out - talk about awkward? Yeah, big time.
He wanted to let me have the house, which is great I guess but he was in a HUGE hurry to sign separation papers. I mean, he started talking about us going to see an attorney together the night he told me he wanted to leave, and was crying and just trying to process what was happening. I did tell him to back the fuck off, how in the hell was I supposed to deal with the idea of an attorney when I was barely processing what was going on?
We did go talk to an attorney about a week later, to tell him what we wanted in our agreement. He pretty much gave me the house, which is our main asset. We don't have kids, and he can't have our 60 lb dog at his apartment so I keep Sunshine. We signed our agreement this past Monday, and he moved into his apartment on Wednesday. He is still moving stuff out of here, so I'm still kind of trying to put the house back together with the furniture I have left but I can't quite do it since he's still not done.
I've had a few breakdowns, but overall I'm doing okay. I don't know if I'm still in shock, or if the things I need to do around the house are keeping me busy, but I'm, doing ok. Lots of my friends call me, facebook me, text me, email me, etc. to make sure I'm okay. My parents are being very supportive as well. This is my 2nd marriage to fail, but they aren't critizing me at all for anything.
Anyway, that's the condensed version of what's up with me. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I am still coping with this the best I can, some days are good....some are not. Hopefully as time goes by, the good days will outweigh the bad. This is an 8 year marriage, an 11 year relationship that I'm having to let go of. It definitely can't happen overnight.
Thanks for listening, errr reading, and hopefully I'll be able to find some inspiration and begin blogging again regularly.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday Listicles - 10 Most Annoying Sounds
Hey you guys! I decided to link up with Northwest Mommy (a little late, I realize) for Monday Listicles for my list of 10 most annoying sounds.
1. Whining...of any kind. Get some cheese to go with that whine.
2. Nails down a chalkboard...gives me the shivers, cannot stand it.
3. That stupid earworm song, "Call Me Maybe". I avoid it on the radio at
all costs.
4. The squeak of my car door opening....no matter what I do I can't get
that damn door to stop squeaking.
5. Certain people's voices - I'm not naming names, but when they speak, I
swear I want to put a muzzle over their mouths.
6. The TV when it gets louder during the commercials...OMG it makes my
skull just want to shatter.
7. The JG Wentworth opera commercial. It is the most annoying commercial
in history. Someone should shoot those people.
8. Rattling silverware...again, skull shattering
9. Chainsaws
10. Whiny kids...I want to muzzle them, or put earmuffs on myself.
So that's it! What are your most annoying sounds?
Friday, July 20, 2012
Cancer...you can kiss my ass! Fuck off!
I am pretty angry right now you guys. Not at God...nor man, but at the big C. I currently have 4 friends that I know of that are currently fighting for their lives because of fucking cancer. I have other friends and family battling other diseases also, and I certainly do not want to belittle their pain and suffering....we'll do an angry post on that later.
My first friend is a woman, who back in 2007 was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had the lumpectomy thing and courses of chemo and radiation and was given a clean bill of health. The cancer came back in no time. She has been fighting it on and off ever since, and since she is a private person and I don't know all the details, I can only guess how bad it is now. I can tell though by the way she moves, walks very slowly....like it hurts her, and she's not the same firecracker of a gal that I've known the last 10 years. Cancer has taken that away from her. I hope that she will find some treatment that will help her, I don't want to lose my friend.
My second friend is a guy from my childhood I haven't seen in years. He's about 5 years younger than me, early to mid thirties, and he was just diagnosed with cancer....WHAT? I saw it on his facebook page and my jaw hit the motherfucking floor. I absolutely was shocked beyond belief. This is a young guy y'all! I do not know what kind of cancer it is, I'm trying to find out but I have sent him a note of encouragement on email letting him know he was in my prayers. He's one of those very giving people - works with the youth at church, volunteer fireman, and he coaches ball for the kids at school. I am just reeling from this news, I just found out yesterday.
My third friend has multiple myeloma and is finally back from Duke after 3 weeks of going through the ringer of chemo and bone marrow replacement therapy. You'll never find a nicer guy no matter where you go. He lost his hair of course, but he's still a cutie, we're calling him Mr. Clean. He did have to stop his running and he is a HUGE runner, so he hated that. The exercise bike has had to do, along with yoga and swimming. So far so good with him, but he has had to go through the shit you guys. This has gone on since the beginning of the year or so.
Lastly, is one of my closest friends' husband. He has been through the chemo, major MAJOR surgery, and then this week just found out that he still has cancer in his lymph nodes. He spent 2 weeks at Duke after his surgery recovering and now this.
I just want to kick cancer in the nads right now. Leave my friends alone! Leave my friends' loved ones alone! Fuck off already! Haven't you done quite enough damage thank you very much?
Anybody else wants to vent and tell cancer off, please by all means use the comments section below and go for it!
My first friend is a woman, who back in 2007 was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had the lumpectomy thing and courses of chemo and radiation and was given a clean bill of health. The cancer came back in no time. She has been fighting it on and off ever since, and since she is a private person and I don't know all the details, I can only guess how bad it is now. I can tell though by the way she moves, walks very slowly....like it hurts her, and she's not the same firecracker of a gal that I've known the last 10 years. Cancer has taken that away from her. I hope that she will find some treatment that will help her, I don't want to lose my friend.
My second friend is a guy from my childhood I haven't seen in years. He's about 5 years younger than me, early to mid thirties, and he was just diagnosed with cancer....WHAT? I saw it on his facebook page and my jaw hit the motherfucking floor. I absolutely was shocked beyond belief. This is a young guy y'all! I do not know what kind of cancer it is, I'm trying to find out but I have sent him a note of encouragement on email letting him know he was in my prayers. He's one of those very giving people - works with the youth at church, volunteer fireman, and he coaches ball for the kids at school. I am just reeling from this news, I just found out yesterday.
My third friend has multiple myeloma and is finally back from Duke after 3 weeks of going through the ringer of chemo and bone marrow replacement therapy. You'll never find a nicer guy no matter where you go. He lost his hair of course, but he's still a cutie, we're calling him Mr. Clean. He did have to stop his running and he is a HUGE runner, so he hated that. The exercise bike has had to do, along with yoga and swimming. So far so good with him, but he has had to go through the shit you guys. This has gone on since the beginning of the year or so.
Lastly, is one of my closest friends' husband. He has been through the chemo, major MAJOR surgery, and then this week just found out that he still has cancer in his lymph nodes. He spent 2 weeks at Duke after his surgery recovering and now this.
I just want to kick cancer in the nads right now. Leave my friends alone! Leave my friends' loved ones alone! Fuck off already! Haven't you done quite enough damage thank you very much?
Anybody else wants to vent and tell cancer off, please by all means use the comments section below and go for it!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
When you're a Jet....continued
Well I think the kittehs are starting to make their way back now that the heat wave is over. I came home from work tomorrow night, and what did I see hiding back in the bushes? A kitteh! Much as he tried to hide, I saw a little kitteh cat. He was all alone, guess he was holding down the fort/hideout while the other kittehs were out doing kitteh gang business.
We've had some rain, so they haven't been hanging around while its been wet which sucks.
But......
I was getting ready for work the other morning when I heard a kitteh rumble a happening outside the window! Gang wars have begun! Uh Oh! I hope they weren't fighting over that ho-cat Maria, when she's in heat she doesn't care if your name is Tony or what! Or, I hope it wasn't Dally fighting....don't hurt Dally! (See, I can't decide if I have a West Side Story going on or The Outsiders, so we're combining storylines okay?) Don't kill Ponyboy either!!!! (stay gold Ponyboy....stay gold!!)
Well that's the latest kitteh gang adventures....Next installment will be when something else exciting happens, so we'll see! It's supposed to rain all weekend, so it may be awhile.
We've had some rain, so they haven't been hanging around while its been wet which sucks.
But......
I was getting ready for work the other morning when I heard a kitteh rumble a happening outside the window! Gang wars have begun! Uh Oh! I hope they weren't fighting over that ho-cat Maria, when she's in heat she doesn't care if your name is Tony or what! Or, I hope it wasn't Dally fighting....don't hurt Dally! (See, I can't decide if I have a West Side Story going on or The Outsiders, so we're combining storylines okay?) Don't kill Ponyboy either!!!! (stay gold Ponyboy....stay gold!!)
Well that's the latest kitteh gang adventures....Next installment will be when something else exciting happens, so we'll see! It's supposed to rain all weekend, so it may be awhile.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way........
I don't even know where to start with this one, so I'm just going to jump right in.
See, the "flowerbeds" at the front of my house are pretty dense, full of just bushes and hostas and weeds that I need to go and deal with but don't because I suck and hate yardwork. This also applies to our "natural area" in our front yard, which really doesn't look that bad. The azaleas just need to be cut back a bit and there's a dogwood stuck in there randomly (hey, it was there when we moved in).
Anyhoo, my bushes seem to have attracted some pretty sketchy creatures.....all of our neighborhood outdoor cats. I can come home after dark and see at least 5 or 6 of them scatter all at once out of those bushes at any time. I've tried talking to them, petting them, but they are waaaayyyy too bad ass for that.
I just wonder what they're REALLY doing in there? Having a secret meeting on how to take out the other kitty gang one street over? Do I have the Jets or the Sharks meeting in my bushes? Or do I have an Outsiders situation going on - are they Greasers or Socs? Stay Gold, Ponyboy!!!!
Are there boy and girl kitties in there and is that their "make-out" spot? (eww) I really don't know.
I kind of picture them like this.....
I did notice a couple weeks ago that I went out to my car and one of the kitties, a big one that is orange and white, was laying on his/her back....showing that belly and just relaxing like the laziest cat ever.
This cat did nothing when I came outside. I spoke and he/she looked at me like, "What the hell do you want lady?" and went right back to sunning that belly. I think that cat might be the head of the gang. I have decided he is Don Whiskers Corleone.
During this heat wave in the past week, I think they are laying low. I haven't seen the kitties. They must be staying indoors. But, they'll be back.....they'll all be back.....
See, the "flowerbeds" at the front of my house are pretty dense, full of just bushes and hostas and weeds that I need to go and deal with but don't because I suck and hate yardwork. This also applies to our "natural area" in our front yard, which really doesn't look that bad. The azaleas just need to be cut back a bit and there's a dogwood stuck in there randomly (hey, it was there when we moved in).
Anyhoo, my bushes seem to have attracted some pretty sketchy creatures.....all of our neighborhood outdoor cats. I can come home after dark and see at least 5 or 6 of them scatter all at once out of those bushes at any time. I've tried talking to them, petting them, but they are waaaayyyy too bad ass for that.
I just wonder what they're REALLY doing in there? Having a secret meeting on how to take out the other kitty gang one street over? Do I have the Jets or the Sharks meeting in my bushes? Or do I have an Outsiders situation going on - are they Greasers or Socs? Stay Gold, Ponyboy!!!!
Are there boy and girl kitties in there and is that their "make-out" spot? (eww) I really don't know.
I kind of picture them like this.....
I did notice a couple weeks ago that I went out to my car and one of the kitties, a big one that is orange and white, was laying on his/her back....showing that belly and just relaxing like the laziest cat ever.
This cat did nothing when I came outside. I spoke and he/she looked at me like, "What the hell do you want lady?" and went right back to sunning that belly. I think that cat might be the head of the gang. I have decided he is Don Whiskers Corleone.
During this heat wave in the past week, I think they are laying low. I haven't seen the kitties. They must be staying indoors. But, they'll be back.....they'll all be back.....
Monday, July 2, 2012
Monday Listicles from Northwest Mommy
OMG we are in the midst of a friggin heat wave in the NC. We have been well over 100 degrees for the last 4 days and we finally got a break today....it was only 96! Holy hell does the extreme temps mess with ppl w/ fibromyalgia, I have been sick as crap! Today I finally feel better and decided to join in the fun with Northwest Mommy's Monday Listicles!
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, and find line 4. What is it?
"Once again the Dark Man had managed to evade Bucelli's guards, and make his way unnoticed into the heart of the drug lord's compound."
2. How many times a day do you say Hi?
Oh lord, I could never count.
3. Have you ever worn a uniform?
Yes, unfortunately. Waitressing, then wore scrubs when I worked at the hospital.
4. What do you think about the most?
Well, since I'm at work most of my day, I guess that's what I think about most.
5. How many keys are on your keyring?
7
6. What was the last thing you bought?
A prescription at CVS
7. Are you growing anything these days?
Yep, swedish ivy, 7 african violets, 3 jade plants, evening primrose, oregano, basil, and thyme. My christmas cactus bit the dust, I'm afraid.
8. What is under your bed?
Dust and dog hair...gross
9. What is most important in life?
love and family
10. What is the strangest word you used this week?
cray-cray....for my crazy-ass customers I had today. I think they all were off their meds for some reason.
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, and find line 4. What is it?
"Once again the Dark Man had managed to evade Bucelli's guards, and make his way unnoticed into the heart of the drug lord's compound."
2. How many times a day do you say Hi?
Oh lord, I could never count.
3. Have you ever worn a uniform?
Yes, unfortunately. Waitressing, then wore scrubs when I worked at the hospital.
4. What do you think about the most?
Well, since I'm at work most of my day, I guess that's what I think about most.
5. How many keys are on your keyring?
7
6. What was the last thing you bought?
A prescription at CVS
7. Are you growing anything these days?
Yep, swedish ivy, 7 african violets, 3 jade plants, evening primrose, oregano, basil, and thyme. My christmas cactus bit the dust, I'm afraid.
8. What is under your bed?
Dust and dog hair...gross
9. What is most important in life?
love and family
10. What is the strangest word you used this week?
cray-cray....for my crazy-ass customers I had today. I think they all were off their meds for some reason.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Bucket List.....of FUN!
I found this list over at my friend Ducky's blog at Batcrap Crazy She found it at Secrets of a Sweet Southern Girl I hate Bucket Lists normally but this one seemed kinda fun and sorta reasonable for me to achieve a few things. Hey, I need a self esteem boost right now.....so sue me.
So, here are the items that I've accomplished in my life so far in my 39 years. Enjoy and no mocking!
1.Started your own blog
2.Slept under the stars
3.Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5.Watched a meteor shower
6.Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8.Climbed a mountain
9.Held a praying mantis
10.Sang a solo (many many times)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13.Watched a lightning storm
14.Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16.Had food poisoning never did I want to die so much in my life!
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18.Grown your own vegetables (Really my dad did. But they were in my yard and I helped water them!)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21.Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23.Take a sick day when you're not ill who the hell hasn't?
24.Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26.Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29.Seen a total eclipse
30.Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32.Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35.Seen an Amish community
36.Taught yourself a new language Does taking a couple of classes and then using the language itself to learn more count? Hey I can curse you out in sign language so do NOT mess with me!
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41.Sung karaoke How do you think I reeled in my hubby?
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43.Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant I bought a homeless guy a box of chicken, it totally counts!
44. Visited Africa
45.Walked on a beach by moonlight My fave thing to do at the beach
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47.Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51.Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52.Kissed in the rain
53.Played in the mud
54.Gone to a drive-in theater
55.Been in a movie Does the video of a dance recital count? I was the bomb!
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57.Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61.Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63.Got flowers for no reason
64.Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
65. Gone sky diving (hell no, and I never will)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67.Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69.Saved a favorite childhood toy
70.Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71.Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74.Toured the Everglades
75.Been fired from a job (laid off/fired same effect)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (I'm so working on this one!)
81. Visited the Vatican
82.Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84.Had your picture in the paper
85.Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year's Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88.Had chickenpox
89.Saved someone's life I tried to, but was unsuccessful, he died on us after CPR failed :(
90.Sat on a jury
91.Met someone famous
92.Joined a book club
93.Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99.Been stung by a bee
I've done 51 out of 99! Not too shabby! I really thought my count would be lower than this. I'm kinda proud of myself! I'm rather weak in the travel section I see, I need to get out and see some stuff but that ain't gonna happen anytime soon so I'll just have to get my kicks right here.
Take this list and you try it out! Let me know how you do!
So, here are the items that I've accomplished in my life so far in my 39 years. Enjoy and no mocking!
1.
2.
3.
4. Visited Hawaii
5.
6.
7. Been to Disneyland
8.
9.
10.
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13.
14.
15. Adopted a child
16.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21.
22. Hitch hiked
23.
24.
25. Held a lamb
26.
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29.
30.
31. Hit a home run
32.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35.
36.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43.
44. Visited Africa
45.
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47.
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51.
52.
53.
54.
55.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57.
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61.
62. Gone whale watching
63.
64.
65. Gone sky diving (hell no, and I never will)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67.
68. Flown in a helicopter
69.
70.
71.
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74.
75.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (I'm so working on this one!)
81. Visited the Vatican
82.
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84.
85.
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88.
89.
90.
91.
92.
93.
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
99.
I've done 51 out of 99! Not too shabby! I really thought my count would be lower than this. I'm kinda proud of myself! I'm rather weak in the travel section I see, I need to get out and see some stuff but that ain't gonna happen anytime soon so I'll just have to get my kicks right here.
Take this list and you try it out! Let me know how you do!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Road Trip to Charlotte tomorrow....meeting The Bloggess!
I am so super-excited, you guys! I've taken tomorrow afternoon OFF work, which should be exciting enough...but no, there is more!
I'm driving the 1 1/2 hours from Greensboro to Charlotte, NC to Concord Mills Books-A-Million to the book signing for The Bloggess, Jenny Lawson and her book "Let's Pretend This Never Happened."
I am super happy she added a NC city to her tour and that it isn't too far of a drive for me. Well, I live practically in the middle of the state, so chances were good for me.
So, I'm packing up my book and my new metal chicken, Lindsay Lohan and we're headed to Charlotte tomorrow afternoon. (yes of course I have to get Jenny to sign my chicken too, are you nuts?)
It's a race week in Charlotte, which is unfortunate enough traffic-wise but I took a half day vacation for a reason! Planning on getting down there to have a couple hours to bum around the outlets - this is a HUGE outlet mall that is the bom-diggity. If I get tired, there's always the bookstore to chillax in. I just have to watch Li-Lo's alcohol intake, that chicken doesn't know when to say when....she's a damned train wreck.
Anyway, hoping to get lots of pics which I will post for all of you. I'm hoping she will bring Juanita the weasel, Hamlet von Schnitzel, or even one of her new friends (Ermione Granger or even Ron Weaseley the weasel) for us to greet. Somehow I don't expect Beyonce....a 6 foot metal chicken ain't making it past that metal detector.
Update:
Jenny just tweeted that Kathryn Stockett (author of The Help) is introducing her in Atlanta tonight. I hope we have someone decent tomorrow night. With Nascar in town, I'm afraid they'll get Dale Jr or Jeff Gordon to introduce her or something.....that's all we freakin need - label all North Carolinians as rednecks. Wish I could go kidnap Uncle Orson (Orson Scott Card) and bring him with me since he lives in Greensboro too. He'd be awesome! (yes, we call Orson Scott Card, Uncle Orson here in Greensboro).
Update #2:
Here's Lindsay Lohan!
I'm driving the 1 1/2 hours from Greensboro to Charlotte, NC to Concord Mills Books-A-Million to the book signing for The Bloggess, Jenny Lawson and her book "Let's Pretend This Never Happened."
I am super happy she added a NC city to her tour and that it isn't too far of a drive for me. Well, I live practically in the middle of the state, so chances were good for me.
So, I'm packing up my book and my new metal chicken, Lindsay Lohan and we're headed to Charlotte tomorrow afternoon. (yes of course I have to get Jenny to sign my chicken too, are you nuts?)
It's a race week in Charlotte, which is unfortunate enough traffic-wise but I took a half day vacation for a reason! Planning on getting down there to have a couple hours to bum around the outlets - this is a HUGE outlet mall that is the bom-diggity. If I get tired, there's always the bookstore to chillax in. I just have to watch Li-Lo's alcohol intake, that chicken doesn't know when to say when....she's a damned train wreck.
Anyway, hoping to get lots of pics which I will post for all of you. I'm hoping she will bring Juanita the weasel, Hamlet von Schnitzel, or even one of her new friends (Ermione Granger or even Ron Weaseley the weasel) for us to greet. Somehow I don't expect Beyonce....a 6 foot metal chicken ain't making it past that metal detector.
Update:
Jenny just tweeted that Kathryn Stockett (author of The Help) is introducing her in Atlanta tonight. I hope we have someone decent tomorrow night. With Nascar in town, I'm afraid they'll get Dale Jr or Jeff Gordon to introduce her or something.....that's all we freakin need - label all North Carolinians as rednecks. Wish I could go kidnap Uncle Orson (Orson Scott Card) and bring him with me since he lives in Greensboro too. He'd be awesome! (yes, we call Orson Scott Card, Uncle Orson here in Greensboro).
Update #2:
Here's Lindsay Lohan!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Wordless Wednesday
Busty Girl Problems:
Advantages....
BTW...I totally do the phone in the bra thing. SO convenient with the boobs!
Advantages....
BTW...I totally do the phone in the bra thing. SO convenient with the boobs!
Monday, May 7, 2012
10 things that happen in an hour
I'm linkin up with Northwest Mommy for the first time for her Monday Listicles. This week's list is to write 10 things that happen in an hour in my day.
I chose 8-9am, it's my first hour at the office - this is what happened today.
1. Whipped my car into the parking lot, dragged my sleepy carcass inside just shy of 8am.
2. Cut on desk lights, computer, unpacked essentials from my bag: lip balm, lotion, medications, cell, change for drink machine, day planner.
3. Opened email and cleared out all the crap. Found umpteen from the same person in Hong Kong about the same thing....again. Cleared out all but one, and answered her. Hoping she'll shut it for the day.
4. Realized the rest of my email required caffeine, so went to make coffee. Drank that in minutes, went in for second cup.
5. Another realization: If I am to make it through this Monday, I needed tunes. Hooked up MP3 player so I'd have jamz all day long. Ahhhhh...music does soothe the savage beast. Or, in this case....me.
6. Dove back into emails, prioritizing those I could answer and delete quickly and those that will take longer. Not many to delete today....shit.
7. Co-worker out again today, guess who is covering 2 desks yet again? Yeah.... Can I call in sick tomorrow?
8. Say a quick prayer for my day....the Serenity Prayer is my go-to.
9. Great, another customer missing product. I hate filling out quality forms! Now we gotta reprint the shit.
10. Looks at clock, calls hubby to hear friendly voice. Realizes it's only 9am and sigh.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Depression lies.....
I follow The Bloggess' blog religously like so many others and while she is hilarious and comes up with the kookiest stuff, I admire her more for her speaking out about her own battles with depression and anxiety disorder. Like millions of other people in this world, I also battle depression and mild anxiety disorder myself, and sometimes it can take you over and put you in a very dark place. On Monday, The Bloggess posted the below video on her blog that I wanted to share below. Remember, depression lies and you are worth being here.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
It's a Zombie Wordless Wednesday!
If you know me for more than about 5 minutes, you will find out that I LOVE all things zombie! I am a huge fan of The Walking Dead, and anytime a zombie movie comes on...I am all over that shit. Resident Evils, any of the "of the Dead" movies (Day of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, etc.). I am working on my zombie plan dutifully, preparing for the zombie apocalypse. Even got some buds workin on it with me (you know who you are).
So since I'm in a zombie mood today, here's some zombie stuff for ya. Some funny, some crazy, just enjoy!
So since I'm in a zombie mood today, here's some zombie stuff for ya. Some funny, some crazy, just enjoy!
I cannot stress this enough. Calm...and kill zombies. Otherwise I might kill you. LOL!
My zombie weapon of choice - katana sword. Yes I want to be Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, what of it?
Yeah so I'm not exactly ready for it now, a little weight to lose I'll admit. I'll get there dammit!
When all else fails...a shotgun works!
Okay, now some funny shit!
I totally need this shirt
Follow Homer into the Zombie Apocalypse? Hell no
Oh no, not the Ewoks!
Of course I had to have a Walking Dead one.
Oh Lorie, you big ole hoebag. Keep em closed dude.
I hope you die soon. (haven't gotten that far in the comic
so I don't know and don't tell me!)
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!
I'm hooking up with Whispering Writer over at Airing my Dirty Laundry for "Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!"
It's okay that I'm in a bit of a blogging-block right now, that's what these hookups are for!
It's okay that the weather is so pretty here...but I am kinda sick of the pollen. It's a gross yellow dust all over everything! Blech!
It's okay that I am WAYYY excited that we finally have a Whole Foods here! Don't laugh at me....this is a big deal for us country people. I've been over there a couple of times, and other than the chicken caesar wrap that made me sick, it's great! I am all over the herbal teas, yo.
It's okay that I am getting laid off in a little less than 5 months and I haven't started getting my resume together. I've started a profile on LinkedIn, so at least that's something! It's called networking people, get a clue! :)
It's okay that I am obsessed with Peppermint herbal tea. I've been having some tummy issues recently, (good old IBS, right?) plus I won a Libre Tea mug from a blog giveaway. Peppermint tea is good for upset tummies, and it's delish! Mmmm! Plus, I am LOVING this mug!
That's all I've got for now. Got a couple of book reviews coming your way, not gonna tell you what books...that would ruin the surprise!
Peace and Serenity
It's okay that I'm in a bit of a blogging-block right now, that's what these hookups are for!
It's okay that the weather is so pretty here...but I am kinda sick of the pollen. It's a gross yellow dust all over everything! Blech!
It's okay that I am WAYYY excited that we finally have a Whole Foods here! Don't laugh at me....this is a big deal for us country people. I've been over there a couple of times, and other than the chicken caesar wrap that made me sick, it's great! I am all over the herbal teas, yo.
It's okay that I am getting laid off in a little less than 5 months and I haven't started getting my resume together. I've started a profile on LinkedIn, so at least that's something! It's called networking people, get a clue! :)
It's okay that I am obsessed with Peppermint herbal tea. I've been having some tummy issues recently, (good old IBS, right?) plus I won a Libre Tea mug from a blog giveaway. Peppermint tea is good for upset tummies, and it's delish! Mmmm! Plus, I am LOVING this mug!
That's all I've got for now. Got a couple of book reviews coming your way, not gonna tell you what books...that would ruin the surprise!
Peace and Serenity
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Life is a highway and there are potholes: A New Love in My Life....
Life is a highway and there are potholes: A New Love in My Life....: No, it's not what you think. I'm not leaving hubby or doggy Sunshine. Nor have I joined a cult or found a boy-toy. I finally got to go ...
A New Love in My Life....
No, it's not what you think. I'm not leaving hubby or doggy Sunshine. Nor have I joined a cult or found a boy-toy.
I finally got to go to my friend, Suzanne's studio yesterday. Suzanne is a potter, and proprietor of Flying Pig Pottery . Now, I have never tried pottery before, but Suzanne and I have been friends for a couple of years now and yesterday, with the day off of work I decided I was going to go over there!
I did some hand-forming, and started 3 mugs while I was there. I still have to go back and add the handle, then we'll have to fire them in the kiln and glaze - meanwhile, I'm praying that they will turn out and not get destroyed in any of the processes until they're finished.
Working with clay definitely requires patience, which I usually have very little of. You can't force it to come together, it takes time to do what it's going to do and it forces you to slow down which is exactly what I needed.
Making the mugs by hand was also interesting. I made a design for each one, putting the design on a flat piece of clay, then had to form it into a cylinder which gives a chance to mold the clay together and make the seams come together. It was very calming and I couldn't rush it or it would not work.
I guess that is the main lesson I learned from working yesterday on my little projects, to slow down. Some things you can't just rush through and some things can't be forced. You have to take time to make time.
Just in case my mugs don't survive the rest of the processes, here are pictures of 2 of the mugs I started. They're still wet clay at this point, so they don't look like much, but hopefully I'll have better ones to show you later!
I finally got to go to my friend, Suzanne's studio yesterday. Suzanne is a potter, and proprietor of Flying Pig Pottery . Now, I have never tried pottery before, but Suzanne and I have been friends for a couple of years now and yesterday, with the day off of work I decided I was going to go over there!
I did some hand-forming, and started 3 mugs while I was there. I still have to go back and add the handle, then we'll have to fire them in the kiln and glaze - meanwhile, I'm praying that they will turn out and not get destroyed in any of the processes until they're finished.
Working with clay definitely requires patience, which I usually have very little of. You can't force it to come together, it takes time to do what it's going to do and it forces you to slow down which is exactly what I needed.
Making the mugs by hand was also interesting. I made a design for each one, putting the design on a flat piece of clay, then had to form it into a cylinder which gives a chance to mold the clay together and make the seams come together. It was very calming and I couldn't rush it or it would not work.
I guess that is the main lesson I learned from working yesterday on my little projects, to slow down. Some things you can't just rush through and some things can't be forced. You have to take time to make time.
Just in case my mugs don't survive the rest of the processes, here are pictures of 2 of the mugs I started. They're still wet clay at this point, so they don't look like much, but hopefully I'll have better ones to show you later!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Wordless Wednesday, err Thursday
Hey guys! My apologies for the lag in my posts, I've been blog-procrastinating. No, for real, I've been super uber busy. Work is kicking my ass, plus I'm planning this event that finally takes place on this Saturday and as it has been getting closer and closer to D-day, there has been more and more to do. It's been pretty stressful, but it will be a totally fun day. After I get past it, I should be a little better off but there's always shit to do, right?
Anyway, I thought I'd give you guys something, and I love doing Wordless Wednesdays. I love finding crazy shit to post to make you laugh, think about, or to make fun of you with (I'm looking at you Lady E). Hell, I can't even get a Wordless Wednesday posted on the right day! So, how about Thursday instead?
So, without further ado.....
Anyway, I thought I'd give you guys something, and I love doing Wordless Wednesdays. I love finding crazy shit to post to make you laugh, think about, or to make fun of you with (I'm looking at you Lady E). Hell, I can't even get a Wordless Wednesday posted on the right day! So, how about Thursday instead?
So, without further ado.....
I heart The Big Bang Theory so much
New Fiona Apple CD coming out! So excited!!!!!!
I'm trying this out today, will let you know if I fuck it up too bad
2 of my favorite things: Hello Kitty and Zombies!
I'm looking at you Lady E!!!!!
This is SOOOO me at work!!!! (no, not really...I wish!)
My entry in Lady E's hand sanitizer contest
Red Velvet Cheesecake.....really......*drool*
I am SO making this stuff
Van-trooper - so f'ing awesomesauce!
Hehe....Walken....Dead....
I heart Beaker!!!!
If you're at least as old as me, you remember these.
Oh how I miss you already!!!! *sniff, sniff*
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Cheesy Amusing Athletics Bloggertime
I'm hooking up with my lactose-enriched blogging friends over at Cheesy Bloggers for their topic for the week. This time, they're looking for our gym or athletics stories - were you a star athlete or a complete entertaining failure? Well, I decided to change back into my gym clothes from school, dig through my memories so you can find out my story.
Mine is not a story of triumphant athletics - you know, perserverance and hard work paying off in me becoming a championship star. I was not the basketball, soccer, softball, or any kind of sports star whatsoever. For any of you that know me in real life, I am probably the clumsiest person you will ever meet.
Part 1:
My earliest memory of any organized sport was at the age of 7 when I was made to join the community girls soccer team, the McLeansville Muppets (yes, this was in the 70's and yes we were really called the Muppets).
My abilities included running up the field and down the field, avoiding the ball at all costs. I got kicked in the shins enough during my first few games that I knew I did not want to participate in any action, so that was my M.O. My teammates were none too pleased at my lack of athletic ability - some of them were totally competitive and resented my avoidance of the battle at hand, but when I did have the ball I didn't know what to do with it. I'd kick it the wrong way by accident, or miss altogether, or kick it to the opposite team by mistake.
This went on for 3 painful seasons - after each year of my begging them not to make me play, finally they relented and gave up on me ever becoming a soccer star. I did get trophies every year, everyone got one for participating which made me feel a little guilty since I didn't really do anything to earn it.
Part 2:
In Middle School began the painfully embarrassing trauma that was Physical Education.
We giggly girls were mixed in with the boys, which made it extra super-humiliating for me due to my overwhelming lack of athletic prowess.
Every sport that we played: softball, basketball, racquetball, lacrosse, volleyball, it did not matter what we did - I was either hit in the face, I swung and missed the ball, fell on my ass, you name it....it happened to me in P.E.....in front of boys.
At this age you do not want to be humiliated in front of boys, so I faked my period as much as possible starting at age 12 to get out of having to dress out. I was one menstruating, cramping machine. I belonged in the drama department (if we had one out in the sticks) from all the over-acting I did. Luckily, high school saved me and I was free from P.E. FOREVER!!!!!!!
Part 3:
Today, I stick with safe activities. Walking is good, I can do walking mostly without getting hurt or falling down. (I did say mostly didn't I?) I do trip over my own feet at times.
My Wii Fit at home is fairly safe, although I fall off that little pedestal thingie constantly since I have no sense at all of balance.
Yoga is good, but that balance thing comes into play again, but at least it's not a competitive thing. I just try again and hope I get better at it.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Wordless Wednesday
Time for another edition of......WORDLESS WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enjoy! Most of these came from Pinterest, my new addiction! Come follow me if you are on Pinterest at http://pinterest.com/karenappy
On to the fun!
Enjoy! Most of these came from Pinterest, my new addiction! Come follow me if you are on Pinterest at http://pinterest.com/karenappy
On to the fun!
My new favorite cookie! Kinda glad they're limited edition. Try them out, they're awesome!
Yeah, pretty much me all day long!
True Dat! Even zombies can't kill Chuck Norris!
Yeah, pretty much me again.....
Need me a mockingjay pin before the Hunger Games comes out!
Been like this since I was 5....speed reader Karen!
I love Snuffalupagus!!!! :)
I'm looking at you Lady E!!! LMFAO!!!!!
One more for Chuck.....bad ass mother fucker!
Monday, March 5, 2012
Happy Belated Blogoversary to ME!!!
Holy grilled cheesus, Batman! I have forgotten my own Blogoversary! My brain has officially shifted over to man-brain - I can't remember birthdays, and now....blogoversaries. Oh woest me!!! Help me, I don't want stupid man-brain!!! Ewwwwww! Cooties live there!
Anyway, have some cake....
And some champagne.....
Help me celebrate! Woohoo!!!!
In all seriousness, I totally had planned to blog on my 1 year blogoversary and now here it is.....2 weeks late. I suck....totally suck. Of course, if you read my blog, you know this already right? LOL!
My first blog post was on February 18, 2011. It was very short, I did not know what to write about quite yet and I had the movie "Joe vs The Volcano" on the brain. Me versus the Blog-cano
I only posted a few times in February, guess I was getting my feet wet. I did post my first edition of Fibro Friday. It's Fibro Friday!
March through about September I posted pretty regularly, some of it crap of course and some of it I still love to go back and read. Here are some of my favorites:
I Freakin Love Star Wars!
Love is a Battlefield
My New Favorite Insult
Fibro Friday - Making Others Understand Fibromyalgia
Bra, How I Hate You!
FibroDuck and Introducing Duffy the Fibro Slayer!
War of the Squirrels
Fibro Friday - Sleep Study Fun
An Open Letter to Fibromyalgia
Happy Birthday Laura Jo, We still miss you
Hope you enjoyed the cake and booze, and the trip down memory lane. Hopefully things are starting to return to normal for me and I can start blogging more often, entertaining you of the insane things that seem to happen to me. I appreciate all of my loyal readers and love to you all.
Anyway, have some cake....
And some champagne.....
Help me celebrate! Woohoo!!!!
In all seriousness, I totally had planned to blog on my 1 year blogoversary and now here it is.....2 weeks late. I suck....totally suck. Of course, if you read my blog, you know this already right? LOL!
My first blog post was on February 18, 2011. It was very short, I did not know what to write about quite yet and I had the movie "Joe vs The Volcano" on the brain. Me versus the Blog-cano
I only posted a few times in February, guess I was getting my feet wet. I did post my first edition of Fibro Friday. It's Fibro Friday!
March through about September I posted pretty regularly, some of it crap of course and some of it I still love to go back and read. Here are some of my favorites:
I Freakin Love Star Wars!
Love is a Battlefield
My New Favorite Insult
Fibro Friday - Making Others Understand Fibromyalgia
Bra, How I Hate You!
FibroDuck and Introducing Duffy the Fibro Slayer!
War of the Squirrels
Fibro Friday - Sleep Study Fun
An Open Letter to Fibromyalgia
Happy Birthday Laura Jo, We still miss you
Hope you enjoyed the cake and booze, and the trip down memory lane. Hopefully things are starting to return to normal for me and I can start blogging more often, entertaining you of the insane things that seem to happen to me. I appreciate all of my loyal readers and love to you all.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
The ax has fallen...right on my head
This year isn't starting out too well for me you guys. I must have really pissed somebody off to get this karma coming back to bite me in the ass.
As you all know, back in December I became very ill and spent 6 days in the hospital. I then was out of work another 4 weeks or so recuperating until the doctor released me on Monday, January 16th to come back to work.
I started back on Tuesday, January 17th and it has been balls-to-the-wall busy since I got back. Thursday the 19th we had a big meeting with management. See, I work in a manufacturing facility and slowly our business has been going outside the US - just like all other manufacturing jobs in this country. It was announced that a large part of our business was being moved out of the country and that a large portion of the jobs at my facility would be affected. I was called into my manager's office and, surprise surprise.....my job is being eliminated. My last day is September 28th.
To be honest, I wasn't all that surprised or upset really. I will have been here over 10 years when I leave so I will be sad to go, but I'm looking at it as an opportunity instead of a setback. Of course it's scary...I hate job hunting and interviewing, and updating my resume but the last time I was laid off I found this job - and it lasted this past 10 years where I learned a lot!
Believe it or not, I am looking forward to the next chapter. I do hope I can find a new job quickly, of course but more importantly the right one for me. Change is a terrifying thing, I'm not going to lie to you. I can't control that this change is coming, however and I have no choice but to face it - head on.
As you all know, back in December I became very ill and spent 6 days in the hospital. I then was out of work another 4 weeks or so recuperating until the doctor released me on Monday, January 16th to come back to work.
I started back on Tuesday, January 17th and it has been balls-to-the-wall busy since I got back. Thursday the 19th we had a big meeting with management. See, I work in a manufacturing facility and slowly our business has been going outside the US - just like all other manufacturing jobs in this country. It was announced that a large part of our business was being moved out of the country and that a large portion of the jobs at my facility would be affected. I was called into my manager's office and, surprise surprise.....my job is being eliminated. My last day is September 28th.
To be honest, I wasn't all that surprised or upset really. I will have been here over 10 years when I leave so I will be sad to go, but I'm looking at it as an opportunity instead of a setback. Of course it's scary...I hate job hunting and interviewing, and updating my resume but the last time I was laid off I found this job - and it lasted this past 10 years where I learned a lot!
Believe it or not, I am looking forward to the next chapter. I do hope I can find a new job quickly, of course but more importantly the right one for me. Change is a terrifying thing, I'm not going to lie to you. I can't control that this change is coming, however and I have no choice but to face it - head on.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Songbird silenced
I have been pondering for the last day and a half how to write about the death of Whitney Houston. I wasn't sure how to approach the subject at first. I could write the addiction blog - some of you know I have first-hand experience with both drug addiction and alcoholism, having an ex-husband who was an addict and having worked on a behavioral health ward in a hospital with addicts and alcoholics coming in and out regularly. I'm not going to do that, however. Maybe another installment, I'll come back to this topic but for now I really want to honor Whitney Houston.
To be honest, I haven't thought about her much lately. Her "so called comeback" flopped, I figured that she was back with her family and had no idea if she was sober or not. The shocking news of her death however, has gotten me thinking back to when I first heard her music.
I was 13 years old, and the year was 1985. Her first album, "Whitney Houston" was one of the first I ever bought and it was a cassette tape. When I heard it, her voice blew me away. I immediately began singing along with the tape, her voice was truly different and beautiful. I slowly discovered that I wasn't a bad singer! I decided to join the chorus at school, and the teacher thought I was actually good! It was at that point that I knew that I had something that I loved to do and that I wanted to get better at it. I played that tape and sang along to it over and over again.
It was at that age that I fell in love for the first time, and found my very first boyfriend. He was a couple of years older than I was but the songs on that album about love said exactly what I felt for this boy and inspired my love for music even more. Songs like "Saving all My Love for You," "Nobody Loves Me Like You Do," and "You Give Good Love" all said everything for me.
When he broke my heart, it was my first heartbreak, and of course I thought the world was going to end. The song "All At Once" said everything I felt and I played that song over and over and over again until I thought the tape would wear out!
"All at once, I finally took a moment and I'm realizing that you're not coming back. And it finally hit me all at once. All at once, I started counting teardrops and at least a million fell, my eyes began to swell, and all my dreams were shattered all at once....."
So beautiful and sad all in one song.
The songs on her first album are still my favorites with a few others that she did over the years.
I didn't really realize how much she had inspired both my love of music and how it affected me emotionally, but also how she really got me singing until this past weekend and I started thinking about her death. My love of music grew from there, and became a great way for me to express myself emotionally.
Yes she made some mistakes in her life, who hasn't? She crossed boundaries, crossed over from R&B to mainstream pop music. She caught a lot of flack for it at first, but she gained the respect of the world. She's the most awarded female artist of all time, I didn't know that until I started researching for this post. Over 400 awards! That's remarkable!
I just want to thank you Whitney, for giving me the inspiration and the love of music I have today. It is my outlet and my therapy and sometimes the only thing that keeps me sane. I hope you have found peace where you are now, I will always think of you fondly.
Some of my faves:
Saving All My Love
Run to You
I Have Nothing
Didn't We Almost Have It All
I Will Always Love You
What are your favorite songs by Whitney?
To be honest, I haven't thought about her much lately. Her "so called comeback" flopped, I figured that she was back with her family and had no idea if she was sober or not. The shocking news of her death however, has gotten me thinking back to when I first heard her music.
I was 13 years old, and the year was 1985. Her first album, "Whitney Houston" was one of the first I ever bought and it was a cassette tape. When I heard it, her voice blew me away. I immediately began singing along with the tape, her voice was truly different and beautiful. I slowly discovered that I wasn't a bad singer! I decided to join the chorus at school, and the teacher thought I was actually good! It was at that point that I knew that I had something that I loved to do and that I wanted to get better at it. I played that tape and sang along to it over and over again.
It was at that age that I fell in love for the first time, and found my very first boyfriend. He was a couple of years older than I was but the songs on that album about love said exactly what I felt for this boy and inspired my love for music even more. Songs like "Saving all My Love for You," "Nobody Loves Me Like You Do," and "You Give Good Love" all said everything for me.
When he broke my heart, it was my first heartbreak, and of course I thought the world was going to end. The song "All At Once" said everything I felt and I played that song over and over and over again until I thought the tape would wear out!
"All at once, I finally took a moment and I'm realizing that you're not coming back. And it finally hit me all at once. All at once, I started counting teardrops and at least a million fell, my eyes began to swell, and all my dreams were shattered all at once....."
So beautiful and sad all in one song.
The songs on her first album are still my favorites with a few others that she did over the years.
I didn't really realize how much she had inspired both my love of music and how it affected me emotionally, but also how she really got me singing until this past weekend and I started thinking about her death. My love of music grew from there, and became a great way for me to express myself emotionally.
Yes she made some mistakes in her life, who hasn't? She crossed boundaries, crossed over from R&B to mainstream pop music. She caught a lot of flack for it at first, but she gained the respect of the world. She's the most awarded female artist of all time, I didn't know that until I started researching for this post. Over 400 awards! That's remarkable!
I just want to thank you Whitney, for giving me the inspiration and the love of music I have today. It is my outlet and my therapy and sometimes the only thing that keeps me sane. I hope you have found peace where you are now, I will always think of you fondly.
Some of my faves:
Saving All My Love
Run to You
I Have Nothing
Didn't We Almost Have It All
I Will Always Love You
What are your favorite songs by Whitney?
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
My Hospital Saga
Cheesy Bloggers - Getting Sick Can Be Funny, Right?
I don't just have a story about my latest medical escapades....I have an epic drama.
Our story begins the first weekend of December. I started feeling tired, achy and just generally not too hot. I powered through a few days of it, worked a couple of days the following week but then Thursday knew that I was really coming down with something. I called the doctor, made an appointment for Monday and stayed home from work Thursday and Friday.
Friday, the weirdest thing happened - the most bizarre symptom ever. It literally felt like my entire left butt-cheek was on fire, it was bizarre and it hurt! By Sunday, I knew something was definitely wrong. I seemed to have some sort of open wound happening (yes, on my heiney) and it HURT LIKE HELL!
Monday, December 12th arrived, and by this time I could not sit up. I had to lie on my side and absolutely could not drive. Since my sweet hubs had to work, my Mom was kind enough to drive me to my appointment as I was laid out in the back seat.
I went in and saw the PA. She took one look at my wound, and immediately went out and got a posse of doctors to come in and check out my ass. I was joking around with them, "geez how many docs do we need in here to see my ass?" Turns out I had a very serious bacterial abcess and they all said, "You're going to the hospital......NOW."
Well, the ass show was funny but now it all had turned very serious. The doctors were very concerned, and as soon as they said "hospital," I immediately had a panic attack. You see, I have never been hospitalized before, even though I've worked in hospitals for years. I've never been on that side of things. It really scared the everliving shit out of me. They had me a room ready within 10 minutes, and I was shuffled out the door and across the street to the hospital.
I got into my room, and got settled but was starving by this time. I had a small breakfast but had no lunch. This was about 2 or 3pm and I was famished. Lucky me, I had to be put on a clear liquid diet just in case I had to have surgery....I was NOT HAPPY. I kept begging my visitors to slip me in a Big Mac or something but they suck and wouldn't do it. Hubby did bring me some hard candy, which is better than nothing. LIQUID DIETS SUCK SUCK SUCK! I had to do that for 3 days before they ruled out surgery and I actually got real food.
The next wonderful hurdle after I arrived was the saga of....STARTING KAREN'S IV! I am a hard stick at times, with me not feeling well for over a week, I was dehydrated as it was making my veins go bye bye! I have small veins that are really deep, so I had nurse after nurse coming in there sticking me. One nurse even tried my bicep and left a nice black knotted bruise. (thanks a lot u biotch) FINALLY about midnight, the IV team showed up and put a butterfly IV in after the 3rd try. In case you don't know, the butterfly is like the smallest you can use and she got it in the top of my hand (ouch!) Now that I had an IV, they could start pumping me full of antibiotics and they had me doing sitz baths (if you don't know about those, google it.)
I didn't sleep much at night during my stay because the night shift was so fucking noisy, and during the day was tough because of all the visitors: family, friends, nurses, doctors, techs, phlebotomists, etc. It was a steady parade all morning. I got a bit of peace in the afternoons so I could sleep a little then.
I was there for 6 days, and every medical person that came in had to see the booty. My Dad made a joke that there was a marquee at the end of the hall with showtimes of when the "Booty Show" was starting. I believe he said they were selling popcorn too, but I didn't believe him of course.
Finally on Saturday they declared me well enough to go home on oral antibiotics so I went home on December 17th. I was still very weak but luckily had gotten most of my Christmas shopping done before I got sick. I sent my very helpful hubby out to finish it up for me but it did make me sad to not have any decorations up.
After the holidays, I was still healing up but everyone else in the free world went back to work. For a couple more weeks I was still weak and not myself but by the first week of January, I was starting to go a little nuts. Cabin fever was definitely setting in people. My husband kept asking, "Now, when can you go back to work?" I know I was driving him insane. I had nothing to do but heal and talk to the dog all day while he was gone, then I pounced on him for human contact when he arrived at the end of the day.
Now, I am finally back to work.....still crazy but just my normal crazy. Sigh.....
I don't just have a story about my latest medical escapades....I have an epic drama.
Our story begins the first weekend of December. I started feeling tired, achy and just generally not too hot. I powered through a few days of it, worked a couple of days the following week but then Thursday knew that I was really coming down with something. I called the doctor, made an appointment for Monday and stayed home from work Thursday and Friday.
Friday, the weirdest thing happened - the most bizarre symptom ever. It literally felt like my entire left butt-cheek was on fire, it was bizarre and it hurt! By Sunday, I knew something was definitely wrong. I seemed to have some sort of open wound happening (yes, on my heiney) and it HURT LIKE HELL!
Monday, December 12th arrived, and by this time I could not sit up. I had to lie on my side and absolutely could not drive. Since my sweet hubs had to work, my Mom was kind enough to drive me to my appointment as I was laid out in the back seat.
I went in and saw the PA. She took one look at my wound, and immediately went out and got a posse of doctors to come in and check out my ass. I was joking around with them, "geez how many docs do we need in here to see my ass?" Turns out I had a very serious bacterial abcess and they all said, "You're going to the hospital......NOW."
Well, the ass show was funny but now it all had turned very serious. The doctors were very concerned, and as soon as they said "hospital," I immediately had a panic attack. You see, I have never been hospitalized before, even though I've worked in hospitals for years. I've never been on that side of things. It really scared the everliving shit out of me. They had me a room ready within 10 minutes, and I was shuffled out the door and across the street to the hospital.
I got into my room, and got settled but was starving by this time. I had a small breakfast but had no lunch. This was about 2 or 3pm and I was famished. Lucky me, I had to be put on a clear liquid diet just in case I had to have surgery....I was NOT HAPPY. I kept begging my visitors to slip me in a Big Mac or something but they suck and wouldn't do it. Hubby did bring me some hard candy, which is better than nothing. LIQUID DIETS SUCK SUCK SUCK! I had to do that for 3 days before they ruled out surgery and I actually got real food.
The next wonderful hurdle after I arrived was the saga of....STARTING KAREN'S IV! I am a hard stick at times, with me not feeling well for over a week, I was dehydrated as it was making my veins go bye bye! I have small veins that are really deep, so I had nurse after nurse coming in there sticking me. One nurse even tried my bicep and left a nice black knotted bruise. (thanks a lot u biotch) FINALLY about midnight, the IV team showed up and put a butterfly IV in after the 3rd try. In case you don't know, the butterfly is like the smallest you can use and she got it in the top of my hand (ouch!) Now that I had an IV, they could start pumping me full of antibiotics and they had me doing sitz baths (if you don't know about those, google it.)
I didn't sleep much at night during my stay because the night shift was so fucking noisy, and during the day was tough because of all the visitors: family, friends, nurses, doctors, techs, phlebotomists, etc. It was a steady parade all morning. I got a bit of peace in the afternoons so I could sleep a little then.
I was there for 6 days, and every medical person that came in had to see the booty. My Dad made a joke that there was a marquee at the end of the hall with showtimes of when the "Booty Show" was starting. I believe he said they were selling popcorn too, but I didn't believe him of course.
Finally on Saturday they declared me well enough to go home on oral antibiotics so I went home on December 17th. I was still very weak but luckily had gotten most of my Christmas shopping done before I got sick. I sent my very helpful hubby out to finish it up for me but it did make me sad to not have any decorations up.
After the holidays, I was still healing up but everyone else in the free world went back to work. For a couple more weeks I was still weak and not myself but by the first week of January, I was starting to go a little nuts. Cabin fever was definitely setting in people. My husband kept asking, "Now, when can you go back to work?" I know I was driving him insane. I had nothing to do but heal and talk to the dog all day while he was gone, then I pounced on him for human contact when he arrived at the end of the day.
Now, I am finally back to work.....still crazy but just my normal crazy. Sigh.....
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